Maybe the collars of the Highlander Nine are loose and comfy but that’s not the case for some of their fans. Most of the Highlander fans that I grew up with or the ones I know who are my age or a little younger, are still very feisty. When I mention 2004 to them, I’m greeted with a narrow eyed reply of “THAT AIN”T HAPPIN’ THIS YEAR YOU STUPID ASS METS FAN” Now, I tell them, “That’s what I want to hear” I want to hear you believe in your team. But the younger more inexperienced Highlander fan who jumped on the bandwagon late in life and thinks they are owed a parade down Broadway every year,  are really, really scared about tonight’s Game 6.

Last night just reading all the little Tweets on Twitter from the Neophyte fans of the Bronx Bastards, I was shocked, SHOCKED by the pessimism of these youngsters. Hey kids, your conduct is very unbecoming of a Highlander Groupie, in fact it’s down right embarrassing. Don’t you youngsters watch YES and don’t you listen to the Highlander Gospel according to John Sterling? Com’on put your boots on and put on your Swish-O-Licious shirts and root for your team and stop questioning your leader Joey G, especially for the way he has handled his relief pitching moves, they are right out the Old Torre testament. And how about some of you going out and buying some 43 MARTE or 91 ACEVES t-shirts to show what real fans you are? Shit, anynone can wear a JETER 2 or TEXIERIA 25 but it takes a real fan to wear a MARTE or ACEVES. And stop complaining about Joey G taking Alex Rodriguez out for a pinch runner, sure it was the asshole play of the series but you guys hate Rodriguez anyway? What? Oh alls good with A-Rod, Really? You’re sure? See it’s hard to keep up with you guys on who sucks and who is a living legend. See I thought Swish-O-licious was the greatest thing to hit the Bronx since Grandmaster Flash but word on the Grand Concourse is he FUCKINSUCKS. Eh, what can you do? I got to go, the Rally Monkey is hungry I’m going to Hunts Point to get him some plantains.

Geez, what a morning. As the well rounded person that I am, I do socialize with Highlander fans and some are even close friends, so this morning my phone has been ringing a lot and my usual quiet ferry ride to Manhattan was disturbed by irate Highlander fans who hate their managers’ guts.

I was under the assumption that the manager of the Highlanders was named “Joe” Girardi but my Highlander buddies keep calling him “Fuckin’” Girardi, oh well. I’m just a sounding board for these folks, the same ones who find pleasure in breaking my balls as the Mets let season after season go down the drain. But in time of Highlander misery they reach out to me because they know they can’t help each other as Highlander fans are incapable of compassion and understanding but know Mets fans are the salt of the earth of baseball fans.

Do I turn my back on these fine folks? Of course not, it goes against my Mets fan nature and besides some of these fine Highlander fan folk are very handy with hammers and know how to run electrical wires, two things I’m clueless about, so as payment for my time, I will get two light fixtures installed in my home.   

I tell them how right they are that the Highlanders are facing three opponents, the Angels, the umpires and Joe “Fuckin’” Girardi. Then after they vent, I soothe them with gushing praise for Jeter and Mariano and talk about Alex Rodriguez’ becoming “clutch”,the more I say A-Rod’s clutch, the weeping subsides. I then go on about the Big Stallion, CC Sabathia going today (I don’t mention the 3 days rest because I don’t want the boo-hooing starting up again) and then I go to the tough love mode as I shout to them “COM’ON YOU’RE THE HIGHLANDERS GOD DAMNIT, YOU WILL RISE ABOVE THIS AND WIN THE SERIES” and off they go,  happy and confident and appreciative of their Mets fan buddy’s support. What they don’t know is, I’m downloading pictures of Howie Kendrick to hang up on my cubicle wall.

Speaking of Highlander fans, Lisa Swan, the Highlander half of Subway Squawkers included yours truly in a piece she wrote for The Faster Times asking Mets bloggers about our thoughts on a Highlander-Phuck Phace World Series.  I thank Lisa for including me in this piece.

Mike Silva writes about Scott Boras talking Texieria money for Matt Holliday. Here’s a surprise, Holliday would love to play for either NY team but leans more Highlander than Mets. What a shock (eyeroll) here’s a little advice for Mr. Holliday, you see how those fine folks in St Lou reacted to you misplaying that fly ball ? That doesn’t happen here. If you were a Met, it would be more you wearing sirloin underwear and we’re a bunch of starving Rottweilers. Do yourself a favor Matt, stay in the Midwest.

Rick Peterson is being fitted for a new Jacket with the Brew Crew. Good luck Rick and good luck Brewski fans with your Rick Peterson Decoder Rings.

Someone at Stub Hub is going to rot in hell for eternity, and rightfully so.

Jayson Stark had to have typed this story on last night Phuck Phace-Hollywood Bums game with his nose, as his hands were busy doing something else. Pull your pants up Jayson.

Forget instant replay, what baseball needs is on the spot drug and alcohol testing for umpires. Phil Cuzi, here is a sword now fall on it. Forget PEDs, and teams with small revenue, what will kill baseball is the employment of incompetents to officiate games. Phil Cuzi, Cowboy Joe Jerk Off West, CB Bucknor, Angel Hernandez just to name four, are so bad at there jobs the only position the are qualified for is New York State Senator or as a play by play man for TBS. The Used Car Salesman needs to show some balls after this post season and start firing these embarrassments. Let them file a grievance and let them sue you, fuck ‘em .

David Lennon wonders, “should the Mets look to sign Hideki Matsui this off season.” I say FUCK NO!!!! and David stop putting out such ridiculous comments because the assholes  who run the Mets might take this seriously.

Joe Nathan was tighter than Joan Rivers face last night in the Bronx. 3-1 lead in the 9^th you got to close the deal Joe you’ve got to close the deal. Poor old Gardy, watching him I that dugout last night was painful.  The Twins season comes down to Carl Pavano. Would any Twins fan like to borrow my Mr.Met puke bucket ?

If the Highlanders should would have lost last night, the story of the day would have been G I Joe Girardi and his bullpen follies. Girardi bullpen moves make St Joseph of Torre look like Miller Huggins. No wonder Jorge hates his guts.

Alex Rodriguez gives thanks to his new batting coach Kate Hudson for helping him get his stroke back to bang ‘em out of the park.

Bring back Cliff Floyd to Flushing as a coach? I’m all for it. In fact it would be a brilliant move, so don’t expect it to happen.

That concludes he baseball part of our program. We will now move to the political part and I know some of you hate when I do this and that’s why (a) I’m giving a warning and (b) I’m so full of piss and vinegar today I really don’t give a flyin’ fuck, so here we go and most of you already know where this is going.

President Barrack Obama was awarded the Noble Peace Prize yesterday and instead of the nation coming together and giving OUR President congrats and being proud that the world is seeing that the United States has made the right choice in its leadership, some of our fellow citizens are outraged by his getting this award. I’m more saddened by this than outraged. If you want to debate whether in his short tenure as President ,Obama deserves  the award, you could have a debate. What the right wing zealots of this country can not get through their very thick skulls is the fact the world sees an Obama administration as hope and looked at George Bush as a dope. What is even scarier is the conservative fringe listens to a junkie like Rush Limbaugh (good luck trying to buy the St Louis Rams Rush and fielding an all white NFL team) and two awful entertainers like Hannity and Glenn Beck. The righties can’t see through those two as their conservatism is for profit only not ideology

So congratulation President Obama on winning such a prestigious award, thank you for trying make this country better and God bless you and your family and God Bless the Untied States of America, we sure need it.

Ok now flame away!

Highlander fans in turn will be rooting for the Amazin’s for the first time ever as Mets take on the Old Town Team and try to help the cross town rivals climb into first place. Don’t get to comfortable with this truce as it ends June 12^th when Mets-Highlanders meet in the Carnival Series.

Oh yea, condolences to Derek Jeter for losing his standing as team leader. Seems the new kids on the block don’t go for that old time Highlander religion. Looks more like Alex Rodriguez is the man in charge now. When Mariano Rivera becomes the Supreme Court Justice of the Kangaroo Court you see he has aligned with the Wild Bunch as well. As for dick heads like Michael Kay look at your Highlander history books and see that for all your pride and tradition bullshit this edition of the Highlanders has a retro 70’s feel to it.

I neglected to mention this yesterday here and on Pro Baseball Central (check out last nights show as Joe and I debated the reasoning for sending Carlos Delgado cross country then DL’ ing him and how I feel the Skill Sets need to hire a customer service expert to better serve the fan base a/k/a paying customers) to check out the story in the NY Times about Bobby Valentine and how the management of the Lotte Marines have told him he will not be back next season as their manager. The Marines claim it’s a money issue but the fans feel it’s more of Valentine and management not seeing eye to eye on most matters. Mets Grrl has a link to the story plus a great link to a site that has a video of the Lotte fans with a tribute to Bobby V. I’ve never hid my feeling for Bobby V as I thought he is a gifted baseball man and my biggest fear is of him coming back to the states and managing in the Bronx.

I think we all need to take a deep breath and maybe a cold shower over Mark DeRosa. Sure he would be a fine addition to the Mets now that Alex Cora is done for a couple of months but there is no way in hell I’m giving up Jon Neise or any upper tier prospect for him. Folks, DeRosa is nice player but I’m not going to go into a panic to get him. Jose Reyes it seems it not seriously hurt and let’s give Daniel Murphy a chance to play 1^st base and if Murphy is not the answer at first base then neither is DeRosa you have to get better than that.

I have no problem with the Mets bringing up Fernando Martinez but if you do he has to planted in LF and left there even if he hits .210 for three weeks. Don’t yo-yo this kid bring him up drop Jeremy Reed and play Sheffield in right spelling him with Church.

A must read today is Greg Prince’ post on naming the bridge in $iti Field centerfield the Willie Mays Bridge. I’m all for it.  While you’re there click on the link for his book and thank me later.

Join us tonight for Pro Baseball Central as we follow the action of Mets-Phillies and talk about everything going on in MLB, with Manny and his little malfunctioning Manny and the return of Alex Rodriguez (to bad he can’t pitch as the Highlander bullpen is atrocious) so tune in and call in at (646) 595-4462. Listen live here at Blogtalk Radio or later on the podcast at our PBC site.  

You have a World Series ring, a multi-million dollar condo and hot blond wife what else could Cole Hamels want in life? Why a little African kid that’s what.  Not to be out done by Brad and Angelina or Alex Rodriguez’ stray piece of saggy ass,  Cole and Hedi Hamels want their own little Ethiopian orphan too.

At first Hedi wanted to adopt Shane Victorino but Victorino insisted on being breast feed. Then she thought about Ryan Howard but trying to find a diapers for him,  well com’on.  Cole Hamels felt a bit uncomfortable with Jimmy Rollins begging to be the baby to Hedi being the babby’s momma so it’s off the Africa to find a newborn.

Hey some guys use their World Series check to buy a Porsche some guys buy African babies.

I know we all bleed Orange and Blue around here and you’re probably saying to yourself “why should I read “The Yankee Years” (Doubleday) by Joe Torre and TomVerduuci? Well if you’re a baseball fan and if you really want to feel better about being a Mets fan you’ll read this book.

Verducci does the writing here and that’s what makes this a first rate book. St Joseph of Torre adds in lots of inside the Highlander clubhouse stuff and the book does come off a bit like a tell all jilted lover story but the real big contributors to this book are bullpen catcher Mike Borzello, who is not afraid to let his feelings known like when he tells how the Derek Jeter-Alex Rodriguez War of the Roses spilt the team, David Cone and Mike Mussina who come off as straight shooters.

The book reveals how the Steinbren-ian way of just buying talent bothered Brian Cashman as the more he dealt with Billy Beane, Theo Epstein and Mark Shapiro, he wanted to run the Highlanders in the same new school manor.

Verducci also delves in the PED Revolution with Rick Helling comeing off as the voice in the forest pertaining to steroids and how they were rampant through baseball and needed to be controlled and both ownership and the MLBPA told him to “Sit down and shut up”

The book is a great read and just shows that The Yankee Way is really a myth as Verducci and Torre let us know that once his core guys (Bernie Williams, Chuck Knoblauch, Tino Martinez, Paul O’Neil and David Cone) left the team, they were replaced by guys who had no idea what it took to win and it’s a problem that the Highlanders still have today.

After reading this book I realized the New York Highlanders are not as regal or as highfalutin as my Highlander fan relatives, co-worker or next door neighbor will lead me to believe.

If you picked up a copy of the NY Post this morning I’m sure you were as startled as I was with the picture of the Highlanders flamboyant third basebman Alex Rodriguez looking at himself in a mirror with lust in his eyes. This pictorial of Boy-Boli will be in this months DETAILS magazine where Rodriguez talks about his realtionship with some old couger who lives on the Upper West Side.

If the pictures weren’t enough to make you gag how about this quote Alex the Flamer:

Despite being one of the most recognizable men in the city, A-Rod told Details - in an issue that hits newsstands a week from today - that he enjoys taking the subway to Yankee Stadium, usually on Fridays.

“For night games . . . the day to do it is a Friday, because traffic is horrible,” he said.

The $27-million-a-year slugger, who’s sidelined for two months after having a cyst removed and undergoing labrum surgery on a bum hip, says he wears a hooded sweatshirt on the train.

Yet he’s usually discovered by eagle-eyed fans who pummel him with questions.

“I get a kick out of it,” he said. “We talk about who’s pitching tonight, and what we need to do. It’s like being on sports radio.”

Do you smell that? Yeah, me too. It’s the pungent aromar of BULLSHIT!!! A-Rod you are one sick bastard!!!!!!!

At some point, Omar, Tony B, or J-Man need to grab Jeffey Skill Sets by his little neck and tell him to stop being a lackey for the Used Car Salesman. If it’s not slotting players in the draft, it’s not going over payroll to pay the luxury tax and now it’s this pain in the ass WBC that the Mets have sent 15 players to including Fernando Tatis as a fill in for the Tragically Hip Alex Rodriguez. Enough! Lets do what right for the NY Mets instead of following orders of the Whacky Professor. 

WOW our Pro Baseball Central show from this past Wednesday night has struck up major debate in the Mets-Phillies rival as Bill Bear of  Crashburn Alley got our “Irish up” when Joe and I  went on a positions by position comparison of the two NL East front runners. Check out Bill’ site for his mathematical break down of the two teams then listen to the show as Joe and I spit tobacco juice (sorry Bill that some of it got on your shoes)   and tighten the belt on our flannel uniforms and use old school thinking. Just hearing me defend Mariano Rivera is worth listening to. Yeah, that’s right I had to defend a Highlander and I’m pissed that Bill made me do that!

I’m not worried about John Maine even with him not feeling comfortable on the mound yesterday. Maine feels it his mechanics that are off and being that it’s early in spring and he’s coming off surgery to his wing as ling as he’s not hurting it’s just a matter of time before he gets his feel back on the mound.   

Ryan Church fouled a pitch off his knee. It hurt. He put ice on it. It feels better. In other words, keep moving nothing to see here.

Tommy LaSorda says “You pinko, pussy, sons of bitch’s better be rootin’ for the good ol’ U S of A in the WBC or you’re a fuckin traitor” “and buy a fuckin’ shirt or cap too”

Who? Santana? Nah, nobody here by that name.

I am very very much bummed out that Life On Mars is getting booted off ABC but my mood has brightened  considerably by word that Curb Your Enthusiasm with the cast of SEINFELD making appearances on the show as well is back in production and will return to TV in the fall. Just hearing the shows theme song makes me giddy! (wish I could link it but shhhhhhhhh I’m at work)

And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend a this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again.

The more I keep trying to convince myself that it’s ok that Manny is not a Met the more I torture myself. I know I said I was on board with the decision the Mets made not to sign him but them why is when I watch his presser, I hate rate jumps and I get jumpy like I just drank 5 Manhattan Specials? All I keep think is if Manny was n the Mets lineup I could be the 5^th starter and the team would still win.

So now Alex Rodriguez needs surgery on his hip that will keep him out 10 weeks so wouldn’t it be nice if Captain Craptastic invited Rodriguez to stay with him while he recuperates? Kind of like a Oscar Madison Felix Unger scenario

Here is your 5^th starter kids.